In The Heart of the FREE

"...come to me when you're weary and I'll give you hope when you're hurting."
 
Jamie Grace sings this in my ear as I sit in Starbucks sipping on my venti single shot honey latte', and it's exactly what I needed to hear! My oldest son is at a Heart Change Workshop right now  (you may remember I wrote about my youngest son's Heart Change experience HERE), and it is day 2 of the workshop. We look at Freedom today... 

The problem with freedom? It doesn't come easy, and it's not handed over without giving up what we cling to. We cling to our ideas of who we should be, how we should act, what we should think and what others will think of us. In doing "all the right things" we find that we are put into more and more bondage and pain. We don't find freedom to be ourselves by trying to act differently or by dressing differently. We won't find freedom in doing it "the way it's supposed to be done" according to some self-help guru looking to gain fame and fortune with their bestseller. We won't find freedom until we realize that freedom isn't free. Freedom requires something of us.

Freedom requires us to take our eyes off ourselves.

Freedom requires us to realize what freedom is and what freedom isn't. 

Freedom is not the ability to say whatever I want under the guise of free speech.
Freedom is not the ability to make a choice as to where I live or what work I do.
Freedom is not the ability to vote for whomever it is I want to lead our city, county, state or country.
Freedom is not the ability to marry whomever I want to marry and raise my children the way we want to raise them.

You may be shaking your head....yes, those things are all the outcomes of national freedoms and the laws we live under. However, do you really understand TRUE freedom?

True freedom is knowing you are exactly who you are supposed to be because you know the very One Who created you.
True freedom is knowing you are not the sum of what you do or what you have done, but that you ARE...because the Creator loves you.
True freedom is knowing you don't have to fit in to be accepted.
True freedom is knowing those people who call you names, refuse to listen to your heart, or put you down because you're not like them are the very same people you were put on earth to love and lead to true freedom.
True freedom is knowing you don't have to fight for your freedom....you have to accept it.

Accepting it. Man! Isn't that the hardest part? Yesterday I wrote about accepting the blessings of someone else (you can read there HERE ). Today I'm faced with accepting freedom. I think there's a theme here, and I see the need to encourage all of us to get to know the heart of our Savior so we can learn to understand the need to accept HIS gift to us - complete and utter freedom.

Throughout this workshop my son will be fighting for his personal freedom...his changed heart...and many will be standing in the gap praying for him and the others who will be walking into battle for their own hearts. Is that what's missing in our relationships? The people who are standing in the gap for us? Are you standing in the gap for anyone?

First, let's figure out where that phrase came from - to "stand in the gap." It comes from Ezekiel 22:30 where it says, "I looked for someone among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found no one." God was looking for someone righteous. He was looking about the land and searching for someone who was crying out to HIM in the midst of a society that sounds, terrifyingly, much like ours. He was looking....seeking...searching for anyone who was willing to stand up to the injustices of their time.

He found no one.

Matthew Henry says in his full commentary, "Sin makes a gap in the hedge of protection that is about (around) a people at which good things run out from them and evil things pour in upon them, a gap by which God enters to destroy them...When God is coming forth against a sinful people to destroy them He expects some to intercede for them (to stand in the gap) and enquires if there is but one that does; so much is it His desire and delight to show mercy. If there be but a man that stands in the gap, as Abraham for Sodom, He will discover him and be pleased with him." (parentheses mine)

So today, I stand in the gap for those fighting for their freedom - their true freedom. Will you join me? Who needs you to stand in the gap for them? Who needs you to cry out to God in their favor and pray His mercy and redemption on them? Martin Luther has this great quote that cuts me to the quick when I think about praying. He said, "I have so much to do today I must spend three hours in prayer."  Dr. Chuck Swindoll shared the story in a recent broadcast of his daily message on "Insight for Living" of a man he knew who set aside the best three hours of his day to spend in prayer. I remember, too, hearing a well-respected Bible leader back in my days of working in radio (I can't even try to remember who it was who said it - some days the teaching ran together and the voices all sounded the same to me,,  if you made me guess I'd say it was Bill Bright) who said, when asked how he could possibly pray for so many people each day (his prayer list was substantial and prayed over daily) that he remembered WHO he was praying to. He knew God knew all going on with each person just by name. So, he said that throughout the day as a person came to mind he simply lifted them up to God as he went about his duties. In doing so he prayed without ceasing and stood in the gap for many, many people who needed those prayers. Just this past weekend a friend and fellow middle school small group leader shared with me how one night he was really struggling with *what* to pray for a certain person. As he struggled he heard God say, "stop talking. Just say the name and rest in Me." (I've paraphrased) That very night, after he shared this with me, I had the opportunity to put this prayer tactic to the test, so to speak. One of my girls was such a burden on my heart and I had no idea how to pray for her. I simply laid in bed and said her name....and held her up to the throne of grace with confidence. The peace that came was immediate. 

There's so much more that could be said for standing in the gap! From the honor found in the Jewish community when they say, "I'll say your name." They are meaning that they won't forget - they will bring honor to the person and say their name. 

What a beautiful option we have to stand in the gap for those who are fighting for their freedom! Stand in the gap today....pray without ceasing...say their name...and rest in this: 

Because He bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!

Psalm 116:2

True Freedom.....who do you know who needs you to stand in their gap so they will find it? 

DARE TO BE....

Last night a friend and I attended a Natalie Grant concert. You may have heard of it - it's her Dare To Be tour with Pastor Charlotte Gambill (who never missed the opportunity to remind us England really is our MOTHER country so we need to listen. :) ) My friend had gotten tickets to the VIP portion so we were there before the show with Charlotte and Natalie and about 50 other women. It was an opportunity to ask questions of Charlotte and Natalie, so there were a few women who did just that. While they were asking questions I noticed one continual thread weaving its way through the women...this was not a conversation to be had, this was a "here's who I am and why I'm needing you to know me...please tell me how I can be like you" time. 

Before I continue let me say something. There is truth in the adage, "It takes one to know one." I know this is true because I have been in that place. I have been the one to stand up and say, "good evening, ladies, it is an honor to be here with you. I am a (singer, writer, worship leader, mom, wife, aspiring speaker) and so my question for you is how do I ___________ to get myself on stage and share my talents with the world?" 

NOTE: I did NOT - EVER - say it like that. It would be couched with Christian friendly phrases like, "I sense God's call to share my talents to glorify His Kingdom, but I'm wondering how to overcome....." The enemy wouldn't have us be so bold in front of humble servants of Christ with our self-centeredness, would he? NO! He wants us to come off as a humble, expectant and simply curious person. 

But I did say it. I would give my resume' before I asked a question. I would share my dream before I asked how they accomplished theirs. I would tell them all the great and wonderful things about me then say I was terrified and didn't know how to get past that fear. "Is there a secret, ladies? You're on stage, and I'm not, so obviously you know the secret and I need to know it because I want to be on stage, too."

I must give Natalie and Charlotte praise here - just as Jesus dealt fairly yet firmly with the Pharisees in His compassionate frustration, those two crazy blondes spoke with friendliness and firmness in what they had to say. With the first resume' given they simply answered the question. However, as the questions continued and it seemed like each new questioner needed to one-up the last, the answers became bolder and clearer that the real problem was not the issue asked about, but the heart. The heart of the person asking "why am I no longer getting asked to speak?" "what do I do with the fear that seems to hold me back?" "how do I do what I do better so God will notice and I will be famous like you?" (that last one was asked in a very different way, but....) was the real problem. 

If the heart lacks wisdom we need to ask GOD Who will give it generously without condemnation. (James 1:5 paraphrase mine)

Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true wisdom. All who obey His commandments will grow in wisdom. Praise Him forever! (Proverbs 3:7)

It's a heart problem when we long to be famous "so we can share our talents for the glory of the Kingdom of Heaven." 

It's a heart problem, not a fear problem, when we are afraid we won't be good enough for so-and-so, or that we won't look the way we think we should, or that we aren't funny/intelligent/as gifted as the other person so we are afraid to step out and DARE TO BE. 

It's

A

HEART

Problem

And like I said - I know this because I've been there. I've been that person asking the question but really just wanting to be able to say I told the-person-everyone's-heard-of who I am. I've been that person legitimately wanting to know how to get past my fear but not even realizing that, to those who have learned this hard lesson, I am simply a person who needs to get real with God and let go of the desire to BE something I'm not (yet). 

AAAAAAAAAnnnnnndddd....true confessions: Charlotte's words of God's truth struck down a chain in my own heart regarding the sins that so easily entangle. 

I do struggle with fear. I have lived my life within the stronghold of shame - not of what I had done, but of who I was. I have been made fun of and put down for being myself, so I've tried to fit in by being someone else. I've been there, and, although I no longer live in shame (THANK YOU, JESUS!), I still fall into the pit of comparison (which is probably why I have to write about it so much...I'm preaching to myself!). 

One gal, sitting behind me, asked the question I would have asked, but she asked it much more beautifully than I could have. "How do you deal with the insecurity and stage fright that comes from being a worship leader?" 

Natalie's answer was a balm to my soul. I'll paraphrase, but basically, she said she has learned to celebrate the fear because if she's not nervous or doesn't have a bit of stage fright then, to her, it means she's gotten to the place where "she's got this" and she isn't going to fully rely on God to show up and do what He does. If we really want God to be glorified, we need to be uncomfortable in our own skin so we don't pat ourselves on the back when things go right. 

Charlotte's answer hit me right between the eyes. Again, I'll paraphrase...there is a difference in fears that we sometimes don't realize. To be afraid of something because we want God to be the center of attention and we're afraid we're going to do something to botch it up is a godly fear. It is a fear of the Lord. However, to be afraid we're going to look wrong, be dressed wrong, mess up somehow or not 'do it right' is a fear of man and we need to confess that and deal with it. 

I fight within myself the fear of man. 

I know I'm not alone in that ring. I know there are many, many women who have those boxing gloves made of cement on their hands, too. 

So ladies, instead of trying to be better than the next gal why don't we learn to celebrate the fact that God created us to work together? Natalie Grant and Charlotte Gambill stood on either side of a woman from our local community and spoke truth - we are sisters in Christ, we will spend eternity with each other, let's celebrate and honor one another instead of pull each other down and pump ourselves up. 

is there someone you'd like to honor today? Please share it in the comments so we can all honor them, too. 

Go today, ladies, and spur one another on to outbursts of love and good deeds!!

(and I'm praying right now that if no one even responds to this that it just won't matter...Lord, I write because You're asking me to write. I surrender and ask forgiveness for my desire to be honored and lifted up for who I am instead of WHOSE I am. May You do whatever it is you want to do with this blog...and may I remain faithful to Your Word no matter the number of people reading.) 

Oh. My. Gosh! Look at her......

It is said that comparison is the thief of all joy. I'd have to agree. Whoever said that was a very wise person.

I belong to a decluttering/housecleaning group on Facebook and the challenges ask that each person post a before and after picture of the room/area being cleaned/decluttered to the group to share their "ta-da" moment with the group. This is a great idea to get the encouragement we need to keep going, get virtual high-fives over a job well-done, and to have proof that it was clean at one time, too!
I'm a week behind, but we'll just pass right on by that little fact.....

The problem I'm seeing is that the pictures do a whole lot more than encourage.

For some, they transform their entire feeling about themselves as they see what a big job they had tackled and succeeded at carrying out. For others it's a way to ask other women for ideas on how they could decorate/store/use such-and-such in their homes. for still others it's a great way to show their kids what a good feeling a clean home brings.

Then there's the dark side.

I won't share anyone's specific post, but the basic gist is, "I love seeing everyone's clean and decluttered kitchens, but I see them and look at mine and get depressed because mine is so (insert any of the following here: tiny, old, outdated, gross, overwhelming, super-small, dingy, etc). So, I won't be posting any pictures of my kitchen overhaul because it's too embarrassing compared to all of yours."

The sad part of our society is that we could take that exact statement and insert a different dilemma, and it would be spot on as an insight to the woman's psyche.

Like this:

"I love seeing everyone's weight loss journey, but I see them and look at mine and get depressed because mine is so (insert any of the following here: small, uneventful, not big enough, I've gained instead of lost). So, I won't be posting any pictures of my weight loss overhaul because it's too embarrassing compared to all of yours."

Or this:

"I love seeing everyone's ideas for what to do when your kids are making poor choices, but I see them and look at mine and get depressed because mine is so (insert any of the following here: unteachable, rebellious, overwhelming, obstinate, etc). So, I won't be posting any pictures of my kids because it's too embarrassing compared to all of yours."

or even this:

"I love seeing everyone's goals for the New Year, but I see them and look at mine and get depressed because mine is (insert any of the following here: undoable, really a pipe dream, I know I'll just give up on it anyway, something I really want but would never say out loud). So, I won't be posting any pictures of my New Year's resolution/goal because it's too embarrassing compared to all of yours."

NOW HEAR THIS! WORDS HAVE POWER!!!

Did you hear it? Listen again...

W O R D S      H A V E      P O W E R ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

What I mean is that, by comparing ourselves to others - saying we're embarrassed by what we have, what we don't have, how we look, how we lack in self-control - it sinks in and changes how we see things. I'm pretty passionate about this because for years I did the same thing. I still do sometimes, and I have to stop myself from going down that road. Please stop. Please look at what you HAVE...what you ARE ABLE TO DO...what you LIKE about yourself...and be thankful for those things.

Another caveat - I'm married to an Eeyore. I love him with all my heart, and he's the perfect man for me (seriously - other guys I dated would *SO* have given up on me long before this! :) ), but he is a pessimist from the word go. He's this santa:



He has great reasoning, and means the best, but he just always sees the problem and not the joy. (he's working on that. ;-) ) So, if that's you....here are some ways to turn the Eeyore into a happier Eeyore:

1) Walk around your house and make yourself look beyond what you *don't like* and take pictures of what you *DO* like.

2) Do a google search for kitchens/homes in other countries and compare our incredible mansions to the rest of the world.

3) Take stock of the small steps you're making to get you where you want to go. Celebrate the little things! (she who is faithful in the small things will be faithful in the big things....)

4) print this out if you need a reminder if you'd like. It's just what I say to myself when I'm feeling frustrated and wanting to give up. It works for comparison, too...it doesn't matter where you're at right now, but it does matter where you end up. To make the change, you've just got to do it. Stop freaking out...and start being thankful.

5) Ask God to help you conquer your comparison disease.

I'm a Christian. This blog makes that obvious. To know where I'm ending up is a big deal - and Heaven means I won't ever have to worry about decluttering/cleaning my house again!! That, in and of itself, is a huge reminder to not take this life too seriously when it comes to stuff like comparing myself to others. The big thing to help me *through* these times, though, is to remember this: Jesus loves me. He loves YOU. He loves us so much He willingly gave up perfection to come to this earth, and then gave up his life here to conquer death so we could live forever with Him in Heaven. Knowing He's got my back - that He's fighting for me and wants to show off in my life - makes all the difference. He loves us, and He wants to help us.

I just got done giving my son a pep-talk because he has his room to clean before he can get a new iPod. He has the money, and the permission, but..... His room is a mess, to say the least, and the idea that he has to tackle an overwhelming task to enjoy something is just that...overwhelming. I needed to remind him that the enemy of our souls, satan, wants nothing more than to defeat us. To keep us down. To have us tell ourselves over and over and over again that we're not good enough, that we're just going to mess it up anyway, that we won't have the ability to do what others (maybe in our same family) are able to do with ease. That we're not enough. He wants to see us defeated (even if it seems like we're having fun...his sole desire is to keep us from living up to who we were created to be.) Then I had to remind him that God is not pushy like satan is. God knows us better than we know ourselves, and He knows what we struggle with. However, He also knows that we have a brain in our head and can make our own choices. He wants us to see Him for the Good God He truly is and CHOOSE Him. He tells us in the Bible that every GOOD and perfect thing comes from Him. That means that anything good in our lives is His doing!! He may discipline us, and getting to where we want to be may not be easy, but He's wanting to work in us and through us and with us to accomplish more than we could ever imagine being able to do.

So, what are you comparing in your life? Are you comparing your kitchen to someone else's (maybe to say it's better than or less than?) Are you comparing your speaking ability to someone else? Are you comparing your cluttered and messy home to your friend's spotless show-home? Are you comparing your thighs that will always touch no matter what to your friend's thigh gap? Are you comparing your curly hair to a stranger's perfect coif? Are you comparing your husband to the other guy who seems so good on the outside? Are you comparing your faith walk to someone else's more seasoned faith walk?

STOP!!!!!

Stop the comparintitis (com-pare-in-tite-is) and get a jug full of gratitonic (grat-ih-tonic) and see who you are...what you have...Whose you are...and be grateful for the good things in life!

I know some of you more "realistic" people are saying, "but you can't just ignore the bad stuff. It is what it is and it has to be seen." (why do I hear that in my Mom's voice? :) )

You are so correct.

I don't mean to ignore the bad things in life. We have to see them to do anything about them.

What I'm saying is that when we focus only on the bad we only see the bad and we get grumpy and angry and frustrated and give up on life and people. That's not what makes life good. What makes life worth living is seeing the good and doing something about the bad.

So stop the comparison train - blow that sucker up!! Get on the gratitude train instead. And then you can say, "Oh. My. GOSH! Look at her beautiful.... You're so lucky, but I'm so thankful that I can/have...." Taking stock of what's good in your life - seeing the benefits of you who are and the perspective of where you're going makes all the difference in the world.

Have a great day! I'm climbing onto the "Oh. My. Gosh! My kitchen needs to be cleaned" train now!

If you'd like to jump into the challenge with me, you can go HERE to read more about it.

Trayc

PS: if any of you reading this can tell me how to get my pictures and youtube videos that are embedded the same width of my blog section, I would greatly appreciate your help!! THANKS!