Day 11 of 51...

In 1995 I prayed a prayer that would forever change my life. I didn't know it was going to change my life, but as I look back on the last 25 years I am reminded of what the fervent prayers of a person whose heart is stayed on Christ will set ablaze in the Spiritual realm. The hard part with fervent prayers is they usually require change and transformation, and we all know how easily that takes place! (insert rolling of my eyes here 😄)

Fast forward to September 2020. My heart's desire is fervent like it hasn't been in years. My awareness of the spiritual oppression in the area where I live is, at times, completely overwhelming. I have the opportunity (did I really just use that word for what is happening?!?!) to see firsthand the enemy's plan to pull people away from their loved ones to resist the conviction of conscience. The relationships with people I've known and appreciated for years are deteriorating as they look at me like the enemy because I ask hard questions and refuse to raise my voice in ways they think are necessary to prove my love for humanity. Outside of my personal bubble, I see destruction, hatred, and absolute vitriol being spewed in all directions. My heart aches in ways I cannot put into words more often than it rests in satisfaction of the life I'm living. 

Which tells me there's work to be done. 

I have one desire for my life - to know I have shared the love of Christ with those around in me in ways that became real and engaging to them. The keyword there is love. What is love? (baby don't hurt me......you knew I couldn't resist! The '80s are alive and well in my musical brain! But I digress....) Honestly, though, what IS love? 

Is love just accepting and affirming a person in everything they do so they never have to deal with the pain of wrong choices or, let's call it what it is, sin? 

Is love being the cheerleader every person needs while leaving the coach on the bench? 

Is love only pointing out what needs to be changed because I know it will make them better?

Is love being sure no one is ever angry at me so I only say the good things?

Is love about feeling good? At all times? Only good vibes? Ever? 

After almost 23 years of marriage, my solid answer to all of those questions above is a resounding, NO. 

Love is seeing the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly in a person and still seeing them as made in the image of God. Seeing the humanity of a person - the imperfections that can make life with them more difficult - and still choosing to say and do what is necessary to show they have worth simply because they are created in the image of God. 

Love is being willing to say the hard things when a wrong is done - not to condemn the person or to "put them in their place" - but so there can be a conversation, a heart-opening, and healing discussion. Hopefully, this conversation will bring them AND your relationship into a better place. (side note: sometimes the conversation you think you need to have with a person about their problem turns into a conversation they need to have about yours. Humbly approaching the confrontation of a problem allows that reciprocal love in action and brings far greater rewards in the long run.)

Love is realizing that God is at work in each of us, and His timing may not look like our timing. Okay, let's correct that - His timing RARELY looks like our timing. No, wait...better correction yet: His timing *never* looks like our timing! And yet, His timing is far better than we could ever expect or imagine because He sees the entirety of a situation (aaaaalllllllll the threads weaving together in the background) and knows exactly when they need to intersect to create the proverbial tapestry of our lives, and, ultimately, His Kingdom. Love knows God sees that person and cares for them far more than we can, even if we love with the kind of love that is at times painful. 

Love is looking beyond the symptoms (outward actions) to the core of the issue (the heart's genuine need) and looking for ways to fill that need regardless of the reaction you may receive. 

All of this sounds an awful lot like what I have, at times, sought to avoid measuring my love against (I know I'm not the only one, c'mon!): 

I Corinthians 13: 1-8a:

    If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, 

    I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 

    And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, 

    and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, 

    I am nothing. 

    If I give away all I have, 

    and if I deliver up my body to be burned, 

    but have not love, 

    I gain nothing. 

    Love is patient and kind;

    love does not envy or boast;

    love is not arrogant or rude.

    It does not insist on its own way;

    it is not irritable or resentful;

    it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, 

    but rejoices with the truth. 

    Love bears all things, 

    believes all things 

    hopes all things, 

    endures all things. 

    Love never ends. 

As I have walked through (emotionally crawled through some of) these past 11 days, I am continually reminded of how genuine love can change a situation.

I keep calling these situations I am living as opportunities, but let's be real - no situation that requires us to act on what we know is true when what we *really* want to do is respond in our humanity - is seen as an opportunity at the time! 

However, looking back I can see them as exactly that. I have had multiple opportunities to either love or try to look like love but was really only to tolerate. In one situation I saw the power of genuine love in the atmospheric changes from arrival to departure, but others are still a work in progress. Each morning I wake up with the fervent prayers for loved ones on my mind and have to make the choice to either trust God in His timing and work in their lives, or get angry about what they are choosing to do (or not do). Each and every day I have had to wrestle with what it looks like to love as Christ loves. In looking at the list above I don't know that I have succeeded, but I can say there is growth. 

So what does all this mean? Well, I think if you're reading this there's a reason. I don't believe in chance or coincidence. I believe, if you're here, it's because maybe there's a message here for you. I don't dare say I know why - I have no idea what you're here for - but God does, and that's enough for me. This is, to speak to what I said at the beginning, a portion of what needs to be done. 

My mission right now is to share genuine love with people. My ability to keep "that tone" out of my voice, or to always speak lovingly to those around me is not always intact, however, so I am currently learning that love is sometimes also silent. Sometimes love doesn't speak to the person, but speaks instead to the Creator of the person. If there is one lesson I have firmly grasped over the past 25 years it is that I cannot, no matter how hard I try, change a person. I've learned that only God can bring about the change that is necessary. So I speak to Him about the person...and He often reveals to me, with a proverbial arm around my shoulder and a sweet chuckle in the doing, what I need to change or see in the situation I am lifting up. But at 1:17 pm I have the pure joy of pouring out love on others by lifting them up to the throne of grace with confidence regardless of our personal situation. 

Every day. 

The alarm is set on both phone and watch. 

1:17 pm. Prayer. 

I don't know what is happening in response, but I know my God is faithful and He bends down to listen. So I pray. 

How do you love? Do you love? Do you know the Author of love? Do you want to? I'd be thrilled to introduce you! Leave a comment and let me know. 

(if you know where this photo is from - please let me know. I want to give credit because it is so good!)

Also, I'd enjoy hearing what you are doing to love your neighbor as yourself these days! May you be encouraged....and know I'm praying for you. I may not know your name, but God does. 💓

Be a blessing...

- Trayc

A Change of Heart

This past weekend I had the privilege of going to a local workshop with my youngest son. This is a workshop I, myself, had gone through in November of 2014, and am praying my husband will go through, too. My oldest son will be going through the first weekend of February. I count each encounter in this workshop a blessing. A program formed and begun by the sweetest couple who realized God's work is best carried out by those who understand - at a HEART level - that He loves deeply, completely, passionately, and justly.

I have seen the changes in my friends who have gone through - a more confident spirit, a greater sense of meaning and purpose in life, and a deeper love for God and His Holy Word.

I have experienced the same transformation. I walked away KNOWING that "I am my Father's love, and I have nothing to hide!" Everything I am. Every wobble, foible, talent and gift are who He has created to be used for the glory of His Kingdom. My wobbles remind me I'm not God - I will mess up and I will fail people without intention because I am human. My foibles are there to give me a heart of compassion and understanding of grace that I will pour those out on others who are hurting or stuck in their foibles. My talents have been given to be shared. (This is an area I struggle in - not because I don't want to share them, but because I have a thorn in my side that can easily creep in and overshadow the life-giving reason for them. If you understand a bit of what I mean, I'd appreciate your prayers that God would heal that place in me.) My gifts are meant for a Kingdom purpose, and they will walk the road hand in hand with the other three parts of who I am for if my gifts are not couched in humility, compassion and confidence in Him they are clanging gongs in the Kingdom.

Back to this past weekend, though, because it's a pretty awesome tale to tell!

God brought together 16 students aged ten to thirteen and eleven of their parents. A staff of about 15 as well as volunteers in the kitchen rounded out the gathering inside the building. Around the world there were others praying for the transformation - the Heart Change - that would be taking place in the lives of children, parents, and families. Prayers were answered!!

Although I cannot go into details or name any names I want to share the highlights of the heart transformations we saw.

*A couple diligently trying to parent children from a previous marriage as well as children from their own marriage saw the healing of a relationship with son and step-mom.

*A young woman who looked in the mirror and didn't see the beauty on the outside shattered the lies that she was ugly.

*A young man who could trust God for so many others discovered God could be trusted with HIS heart and HIS life and HIS dreams, too.

*A young woman terrified of the mental disorder she lived with graciously and humbly asked for and received prayers that it would not take over her life and she could be delivered from it.

*Another young woman was angry at God because her father had died when she was very young and God didn't save him. The healing that took place as she learned the truth of what happened and the happy heart that came from this knowledge was tangible!

*A young man understood for the first time that some of the happenings in his life were *not* his fault and he no longer had to carry the burden of that guilt.

*A young woman who had tried to take her life a few months earlier was given the beautiful gift of self-worth from God alone, and the change in her spirit was overwhelming...the smile on her face spoke volumes of peace on the inside.

That's a handful of the transformations. It would seem girls outnumbered boys 2 to 1 and that the boys didn't change as much, but it's simply not true. The transformations of the boys were equal in depth and breadth. True to humanity, though, they didn't share as much about what happened deep down. I assure you, however, changes took place for the glory of the Kingdom of God in each and every one of these young people. Not one of them left with the same "face" they came in with.

In talking with other parents, staff members, and the founders of this ministry, I am convinced the workshops going on around the globe bringing the work of the Holy Spirit, the healing of the Cross, and the power of the One True Living God into the day - to - day lives of His children are going to start a revolution of repentance. Those sixteen kids from this past weekend? They are going to be world-changers. WORLD. CHANGERS! Jesus spoke of the fact that unless we have the faith of a child we will not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. ( Mark 10:15) The faith of these young people have encouraged me, inspired me, spurred me on to outbursts of love and good deeds.

Because of their faith the parents they live with and the people they interact with will be changed as well.

Now...there's always a flip side, isn't there? You know how we parents wonder if our kids *really* learned that lesson and if there's *really* a change that took place? Well, I didn't realize my mind was holding onto a similar question.  It was evidently in the far recesses of my mind as my ears perked up when  my son went out to play football in the street with the neighbor boys yesterday. I was cleaning the master bedroom and had the windows open to get rid of some of the stifling winter air, so it was virtually impossible not to hear the loud playground-worthy voices of 10 young men. Previously I would have heard bossiness and smack talk to make a point or to compliment others. I was amazed to hear the difference in the *tone* of my son's voice when he talked to his friends. When instruction was given (he was put in the QB role, lots of instruction spews forth...) it wasn't given in the tone of "do what I say" like it had in the past. Instead, it was given with a smile and compliment right after it or before it. When his decision was questioned by another boy he didn't respond in defensiveness, but he responded in humility and a desire to work together as a team. As I continued to listen for the inevitable argument that would lead to the disbanding of the football game I was pleasantly surprised to hear the tones of the other boys begin to change as well. It became a game of friends - teammates - comrades instead of a competition to prove who has the most powerful arm or the fastest legs.

I was given a glimpse of the power of one person changing how they interact with others.

I was given a glimpse of how the power of Jesus Christ in us can impact our world.

I was given a glimpse of the power we each have to make our world better or bitter 

just by Whose we are.

My son is not perfect - in fact, if anything, the realization that he doesn't have to earn love has greatly decreased his need to jump in and do for others what they are capable of doing themselves* - but he does love his Lord, and the change in him is greater than any act of service he could ever do!

*explanation - when his brother, who is not a "do-er" like our youngest is, has to clean his room he often asks little brother to help him. He's brilliant in this request, actually, because he knows HE won't have to think about what needs to be done, and he can ease off while little brother cleans his room for him. Last night he mentioned that little brother wouldn't even help him clean his room when he asked (as if this was the greatest travesty of life). Little brother quickly piped up, "but if I always do it for you, you'll never learn to do it for yourself." Aaaaaahhhh, Jesus for the WIN!

I hear the words of Matthew when he writes about the wise men and the shepherds coming to see the Child King, Jesus. Mary watched each one and pondered these things in her heart.

Transforming lives in the truth of the Word of God and the Spirit given to us for this life is one of my favorite things to see. My cup is filled to overflowing as I revel in the beautiful grace and glory of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

***********************************

I'm curious if there are workshops like this in other areas? I know there are, but do any of you know of them? The workshop I attended is called Heart Change, and in talking to Gloria, one of the founders, she mentioned this is not the only one taking place that is in the process of changing lives deeply and truly for the Kingdom. The key to finding true change is for the Bible to be foundational, not secondary, to the process. We read in Hebrews 4:12 (NASB)

For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

Without the Bible as foundation, the building (person) topples away. 

If you are looking for a program like this in your area, you could contact House Of Myrrh Ministries and ask if they know of one where you are. As one father said to me and I agree completely with, "If you had told me four years ago I was going to go through this and be who I am today, I'd have told you you were nuts. Today I would tell you I would sell everything I owned if necessary for the opportunity to go through this life change."

God IS good...does your heart really believe that?...for yourself?