Prayer Changes Things

Lately the power of prayer has been a constant reminder. I have been reminded that God sees me....He hears me...He bends down to listen...He cares. I've been brought up short as I'm reminded that my prayers are not a to-do list for God, but rather a heart surrendering to His will as I humbly reveal the deepest parts of me to the Only One Who can really do anything about it. When I've prayed and not seen immediate results I've been reminded that patience is a virtue - a character trait not ingrained, but learned. Finally, when I have seen the joy of prayers affirmed and answered only to be sent back to square two a couple days later I've been reminded that life is a journey and just because I pray and He answers doesn't mean it's all going to be A-Okay from then on. 

What it does mean is that He still sees me. He stills hears me. He still bends down to listen, and, no matter what, He still cares. 

About every little detail. 

Every. 

Little. 

Detail. 

HE CARES

This excerpt from a devotional on prayer by Jack Graham speaks directly to what I have been experiencing and thinking recently. 

"When you and I arrive at heaven's gate someday, no doubt we will be shocked by our lack of faithfulness as it relates to prayer. We will see firsthand the vast storehouse of blessing God had reserved for us, if only we had asked for His intervention in our lives. "You do not have because you do not ask." James 4:2 reads. What a fitting reminder to pray while we still have life left to live! Indeed, nothing good, nothing great, nothing lasting, nothing holy can ever happen apart from prayer.

That is why prayer should never be a sideline habit for believers. Prayer should not just be a ritual performed at the beginning of a family meal. We are to pray, persistently and passionately in dependence and in obedience. And let me be clear, if you are not praying, there is no way you can ever grow as a Christian. Without prayer, there is no way you will ever truly know God intimately. Prayer flows out of a life connected to Christ. And prayer also connects our life to Christ."

taken from "Lord, Hear Our Cry: A 30-Day Prayer Challenge" by Dr. Jack Graham

(you can also do this plan on the youversion.com Bible )

Those last couple of sentences in the second paragraph were like arrows between the eyes for me. "without prayer, there is no way you will ever truly know God intimately. Prayer flows out of a life connected to Christ. And prayer also connects our life to Christ." To know God intimately requires getting together with Him and connecting not just at the head level, but on a heart level. 

For example...I listen to a few different Bible teachers as I prepare for my day. I may listen to Dr. Charles Swindoll one day, and Andy Stanley the next...or I might listen to a podcast from my own church or our previous church's teaching. Although the last two pastors I do know personally, I cannot say I know them intimately. Because I have listened to Dr. Swindoll for so many years and read so many of his books I can say I sometimes feel as if I know him. My own pastors I can even say I know pretty well.....but intimately? Uh. No. 

However, I can say I know my husband and children intimately. I can also say I have intimate friends. The difference between them and the people I mentioned in the previous paragraph? Easy answer....time spent together getting real with each other. 

It is not a one way relationship. I do not read God's word and think I know Him intimately. I do not only pray and think I know Him intimately. One without the other leaves one of us out in the cold. 

Reading God's Word gives us an intimate knowledge of Who He is - we get to know Who He is throughout His interactions with others. We don't, however, fully grasp the magnitude of who He is if we only know Him intellectually. 

There is a current movement to seek the Holy Spirit and to consistently let Him guide through prayer and fervent times of seeking His voice. Not a bad thing....unless the voices in our heads that we think are the Holy Spirit are actually not of God at all. The voice we hear goes against what the Word of God says, but because we aren't reading the Bible we aren't aware of it....and we are led astray under the guise of "following the Spirit's leading." 

Praying alone gives us, at times, an emotional heart-level understanding of Who He is, but not knowing the truth of Who He is as we read in His Word leaves us wanting intellectually. 

Then there's our side. If we spend time reading His Word - studying, digging in, getting to know Him - we know His character. If we spend time praying for others in accordance with His Word we trust what we know of Him. Sounds pretty well-rounded, huh? Pretty full? We know, love and trust Him, so we're good? 

Not quite. 

WE know HIM...and HE knows US....but do we *intimately* trust Him with our most intimate selves? Our deepest hurts? Our most fervent desires? Our greatest doubts? Our rage and frustration over the injustices in our lives and the world around us? 

Nope. 

If we aren't willing to spend time getting real with God our Christian life, as Dr. Graham stated, is stunted. We don't grow in Him. We don't thrive. We don't grasp the power available to us through Him. 

Today I am in that place of frustration over the answers to my prayers being ping-ponged back and forth between "Passing Go" and "Going directly to Jail" (we'll use Monopoly as a tangible example of what the prayers - answered - seeing - positive - results - while - in - the - next - moment - human - nature - takes - over - and - pulls - it - back - again feels like). I hate it. I want to do some major brain surgery on a certain young person in my life who keeps being offered grace, celebrates and jumps in, freaks out and jumps back out again where he can be comfortable. 

I am reminded life is a journey. Reminded that, just because one day seems like my prayers are answered and life is going to be beautiful all the time from here on out, I still live in a broken world where the only hope I have is knowing the One Who created all things and in Whom all things hold together. 

So today I pray again....for the very same thing I've been praying for over the last few months. I cling again...to the hope found only in Jesus Christ. I trust again...in the fact that God the Father knows exactly what His plan is and I don't. I remind myself (again)....patience is a character trait that is learned, not given. Then I scream and kick my feet because I want patience in the situation......NOW! ......and I start all over again knowing that everyday really does bring a brighter hope, a bit more trust, a lot more patience. 

Because after all.....

Punching the Devil in the face

There's this song we used to sing when I'd lead worship for the kid's ministry at our church. I have no idea what the official title is, but we called it "Little Boxes." It goes like this:

If I had a little white box
To keep my Jesus in
I'd take him out and kiss His face
and share Him with my friends!

If I had a little black box
To keep the devil in
I'd take him out and punch his face (this part has to be yelled with actions!)
and put him back again!

Now, before you get on me about the theology of keeping Jesus in a box and whatever else, let's move on.... :) The reason I feel the need to write this today is because it seems like the number of Christians afraid to offend others with their beliefs, afraid to take a stand against the devil, afraid to be what God has called them to be is outrageously huge. And, if I may quote that great man of God, Paul, "I am the worst of them all."

The only way I know to speak to this is to speak of my own journey and pray for those of you reading to understand, relate and respond to what God is speaking to us all through what He's doing in my life. So forgive me if this seems self-focused. I do not mean for it to be...it's just that He's doing so much in me in this area I can't believe it's NOT to be shared. Here we go...

Last November I went through a Heart Change Workshop where I was able to confront some of the lies in my life. Lies that had burrowed down into my soul much like a tick burrows in and infects a life - wordlessly, stealthily, continually.

One of those lies I had believed and not known how to fight against is that I only wanted to be on stage because I like being the center of attention; I enjoyed singing in front of crowds because I liked the applause.

This didn't take into account the fact of horrible nerves I got every time I went on stage. It didn't take into account the discomfort I experienced when people would praise me and tell me how much they enjoyed what I did. It also didn't take into consideration my motives for being on stage.

My motives.

Motives.

What are motives, anyway?

Here's what Webster's 1828 online dictionary defines motive as:

MO'TIVE, adjective [See the Noun.] Causing motion; having power to move or tending to move; as a motive argument; motive power.

MO'TIVE, noun

1. That which incites to action; that which determines the choice, or moves the will. Thus we speak of good motives, and bad motives; strong and weak motives. The motive to continue at rest is ease or satisfaction; the motive to change is uneasiness, or the prospect of good.

2. That which may or ought to incite to action; reason; cause.

3. A mover. [Not in use.]

Here is the 2nd definition from Webster's 1913 online dictionary:

2. That which incites to action; anything prompting or exciting to choise, or moving the will; cause; reason; inducement; object.

By motive, I mean the whole of that which moves, excites, or invites the mind to volition, whether that be one thing singly, or many things conjunctively. J. Edwards.

Finally, as is the case in our modern world, here is the succinct, simplified definition from Webster's 2014 online Dictionary: 

1motive

  noun mo·tive \ˈmō-tiv,

: a reason for doing something

(pardon my "squirrel!" moment, but if you're a pathological learner it would not be a good idea to start looking up words online for historical definitions and/or origins. ....not that I know any good reason not to, but it will require a great deal of determination to bring yourself back to the task at hand if you do so......jus' sayin'.)

So, back to that lie. It did not take into consideration any of who I am. 

Notice this little graphic I made up to show how a lie works. Notice that first word in the 'L'?

TRUTH

Isn't that the way a lie works? It grabs onto a mustard seed size of truth and plants it, but then it starts chipping away at the branches of the truth to skew and warp what the original motive was. Have you ever heard the phrase, "there's a grain of truth in every lie?" Well, in the lie I believed there certainly was a grain of truth to the lie. 

I DID enjoy being on stage - but not because I liked being the center of attention. 

I enjoyed being on stage because in being there - whether singing or speaking by myself, or dancing and singing with a group or choir - I could see the lives of others being made better. 

HA! TAKE THAT YOU STINKIN' LIE!!! *karate chop to the throat!*

Whew! That felt good! HAHA!

So, let's take the focus off myself (because, really, why do you think I sit behind a computer screen where I can encourage you to be who you were created to be? I really do NOT like being the center of attention. I may like to be noticed (who doesn't?) but I HATE being the center of attention!)

What lie are you believing? Who is telling you  your dreams are about something other than what they are? 

I've worked through my lie stash bit by bit over the past few years. Another lie I believed was that people don't want to hear me sing. This was said by an older sibling innocently frustrated by her little sister who, seriously, did NOT know how to sing quietly and did so All. The. Time. It was not my sister's fault that the enemy took that along with that lie I mentioned above and wove a horrible chain of bondage over my life. I do not blame her nor hold it against her. I can't. She was my older sister and I was the annoying little sister and what she said was not meant to harm or cripple me, it was said because walking across the street to the neighbor's house with a little sister singing some silly song (Probably "Don't it Make My Brown Eyes Blue") at the top of my lungs was the most embarrassing and annoying thing ever! But the enemy, knowing that God had a plan for me, covered the enjoyable gift of being given a stage to share hope and love with others with a lie. 

So what are you believing? Are you believing any of these:

*You can't shine for Jesus with the horrible past you've had!

*You really think people will believe you when you've lived your whole life covering up who you are?

*You are not worth anyone's time, so why even bother?

*You're beyond help!

*You don't have what it takes to achieve the dream you've held in your heart for years. There are simply too many reasons holding you back and they'll always be there, so just give up.
*By the time you can focus on your own dreams you'll be too old. 

The list can go on. 

and on.

and on. 

and on. 

can't it?

Well, y'know what?

*Maybe you do have a horrible past, but you can still shine for Jesus! I mean, honestly! What better way to show His amazing grace than by acknowledging how He's redeemed you??

*Maybe you have lived your entire life covering up who you really are. How beautiful a life that is no longer needing to hide!

*There may be people who have given up on you, but God never has. For you to have compassion for others who may feel that way, too, and share the truth of God's never-ending, faithful mercy and grace with them is a gift straight from Heaven.

*There may be a whole host of things in your life holding you back. So start by bringing them to the foot of the cross. Lay them down and ask God what He wants you to do with what you have, where you are...right now.

*Grandma Moses didn't put paint to her first canvas until she was in her 80's! Colonel Sanders started to market a little recipe for chicken at the age of 66 and so began the chicken chain now known as KFC. Julia Child didn't start cooking until she was in her 40's and her tv show didn't launch until she was 50. Laura Ingalls Wilder didn't write the "Little House on the Prairie" books when she was young. She was well into her 60's before she wrote those sweet volumes of history. You're never too old if God has a dream for you.
. 

There are two songs that come to mind when I think of lies and truth. The first one is a song that kind of became my theme-song during a very hard and dark time in my life. I still sing it today when I'm having that "nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms" kind of day. It's a song by Steven Curtis Chapman called "Treasure of You." Here are the lyrics, and below I'm sharing the video..

"Treasure Of You"

Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice

That heartsick look in your eyes

You hide it very well, but I've got the same disguise

I know from all you see around you

You feel worth a very small price

So plain and ordinary, but there's a pearl inside

And if you look in the mirror in the light of the truth

You'll see there's really nothing you could say or do

To make you worth more to the One who made you

[Chorus]

Your are a treasure

Worth more than anything under the sun or the moon

God's greatest treasure

Is the treasure of you

The rich man treasures gold and silver

The wise man, his knowledge of truth

Some will hold to memories and some will cling to youth

But the one who carved out the oceans

And painted the stars in the sky

You are His prized creation, the apple of His eye

There's no one else in the world who could take your place

Just the thought of you brings a smile to His face

God loves you with amazing grace

[Chorus]

So take a look in the mirror in the light of the truth

Oh, yes it's true

See there's nothing more you can say or do

God loves the way He created you

[Chorus]

From the T to the R to the E to the A to the S to the U to the R to the E

God made everything and everything He made

More than anything He treasures you and me

Check in in the mirror in the light of the truth

There is nothing you will ever say and nothing you will do

The will ever make God care more than He does for the treasure

God's treasure is you

Those lies? Send them packing! Actually, send them back to the foot of the cross where they belong! The truth is, you are a treasure, and maybe some dreams aren't good for you, but if you've got a dream to share Jesus and His Word with the world it is a dream placed in you by the Very One Who created you! Banish it with the truth of scripture. 

What? You don't know where to look? How about if you start right here with this passage from Isaiah:

Isaiah 43:1-3New Living Translation (NLT)

The Savior of Israel

43 But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.

    O Israel, the one who formed you says,

“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.

    I have called you by name; you are mine.

2 When you go through deep waters,

    I will be with you.

When you go through rivers of difficulty,

    you will not drown.

When you walk through the fire of oppression,

    you will not be burned up;

    the flames will not consume you.

3 For I am the Lord, your God,

    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom;

    I gave Ethiopia[a] and Seba in your place.

Now go back and read that first verse again. 

"Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you! I have called you by name; YOU. ARE. MINE."

(emphasis and exclamations mine to send that message home)

Lies have no place in a Christian's life, let alone our soul. 

The other song is my current favorite song. No introductions. All you need to do is crank up those speakers and bask in the glory of the One Who IS Greater!

Spend some time today at the Throne of Grace peeling back the layers of the lies to see what dream it is He has planted for you. ask God to reveal what that grain of truth in your dreams is. If you are planted IN HIM your dream is real and the only reason there are doubts are because the enemy wants to keep you from living out loud for Jesus Christ. He has a great adventure for you and promises are promises and facts are facts! He won't let you go! Burn the ships full of lies and Dive in! For the sake of the call just take another step and trust that our Redeemer is Faithful and True! (excuse me, I've started a Steven Curtis Chapman song title ferris wheel in my mind. I think I'm done now.....)

GO FORTH IN TRUTH, BRAVE WARRIOR OF GOD! 

To Serve or To Be Served....that is the question

In the forty-five years I've been alive I have had multiple (as in hundreds if not thousands) of opportunities to serve others. When I was younger it was often on a stage with a choir, a microphone or a dance partner singing our hearts out and giving our audience a respite from their current state of affairs. I would look out and see the wrinkles of aged faces dissolve away as their eyes would take on that misty, far-away look of a bygone era living only in the recesses of their memory. I would see couples reach for their partner's hand as we struck our single pose and sang a love-song. They would smile at each other and it didn't take a brain surgeon to see the memories flitting between them.

As I got older and began to mature i had the opportunity to expand my horizons. It would be in helping my mom with meals on wheels and listening to the fascinating stories of the people we were serving. It woud come in the shape of a note handwritten and delivered to someone needing encouragement to get through a rough patch. Another opportunity morphed into the hearts and voices of a choir or a congregation raised in praise and adoration to our God and Savior. Yet another would come in the decision to spare a new mom the frustration of having to make a meal while delivering love and nourishment to her family. (caveat: I am not the world's greatest cook. In fact, when it comes to meals I am the three basics kind of gal - protein, veggie and side. So, my delivered meals were often store bought lasagna with garlic bread and a salad. No one ever complained about getting a free meal....no matter where it came from! :D )

So, I've had lots of experience in blessing others. It's easy - I bless, I help, I encourage, and I feel good. Really good. I like blessing others.

I've begun to realize something, though, and it's the darkside of being a blessing.

To Bless or to Be Blessed....

The darkside is that "or be blessed" part. It's hard to allow others to bless me. 

I don't like to be needy. (got over that thanks to a self help book or two - or a broken relationship or two - in college thankyaverymuch!)

I don't like to have to rely on other people to get by. 

I don't like to be at the mercy of someone else doing things I know I can and should be able to do myself. 

And therein lies the problem. 

*I* Want To Be the Blessing!

*I* Want To Be The One On The Pedestal

*I* Want To Be the One People LAUD as "Such a Helper!"

Am I the only one? 

I think not. 

IN fact, I know not. 

We all do that. How hard it is to accept the help of a stranger when they see us struggling with a door and hands full. How hard it is to accept the help of a friend who knows we just can't get to _____________ right now and they step in to do that for us so we can mark it off our list. How hard it is to ASK someone to give an encouraging word because we're just so down we can't see up. 

I figured something out tonight regarding this phenomena....

In digging down to the heart of serving, I am beginning to realize the blessing that comes from letting others bless me. That sounds crazy and selfish, but in fact it is the opposite. 

If I'm always rushing to bless others and never allowing them to bless me (ie: help me) I'm really saying that I don't need  people, but people need me. I'm putting myself on the pedestal in the name of serving others. 

Living this way perpetuates a spirit of unworthiness in others instead of instilling in them a knowledge that they matter - they have worth - they are a necessary part of this equation called life. If we always step up to prove we don't need help with such-and-such ("Oh! Thank You, but I can get that!) we are robbing someone of the blessing to be a blessing. 

Think about the last person you witnessed helping someone. Think of the person serving, and then think of the person being served. BOTH of them were given a gift, right? The server was filling a need - realizing they were doing something good - and it made them feel good about themselves, right? The servee was made to feel worthy of service and being seen. 

Now think about that same scene a hundred times over. If the person serving only serves and the person being served only receives what happens? 

Anger. 

On both parts. 

The Server gets tired of always having to serve and they begin to see the people they are serving as greedy curmudgeons only grabbing and nabbing what others will give. 

The Served begins to feel like they can't do anything on their own and they figure they might as well just give up. 

So where am I going with this? What does it mean for those of us, like me, who are in a place of serving a lot and authentically enjoy the occasion to serve others? How do we give that back?

Well, here's what I learned today. 

My son is attending a workshop in a town about 40 minutes from our home. I was there serving in the kitchen when I ran out to my car to get my purse and retrieve some money for his lunch and dinner. The only problem was that my purse was not in my car. It was at home, forty minutes away, sitting in the kitchen where I forgot to grab it on my way out the door. 

The food I had been preparing was for the staff members. My son is a teenaged boy who thinks every food item on earth is not enough to satisfy his hunger. I was facing quite the conundrum. 

I had a choice. 1) I could run home and get my purse and make that trip 6 times in one day because I had to return home to teach and then go back to get him. OR 2) I could share my dilemma with the staff and ask for help. 

I asked for help. 

And I got way more than I deserved. 

And the gal who helped me kept saying over and over, "thank you so much for asking for help! I'm so glad I could help you out this way!" In the midst of the helping I was able to hear a really cool God story about her recent vacation, and we reveled together in the goodness of our Savior. 

If I hadn't asked I wouldn't have received. 

If I hadn't asked, she wouldn't have been given the blessing of being a blessing. 

Asking isn't easy for me. 

NOT.

AT. 

ALL!

My independent streak is strong. My mom, in fact, shares the story of when I was a very young girl and we were standing with a friend of hers. Mom looked at me and said to her friend, "UGH! She is SO independen it drives me crazy!" Her friend laughed and said, "Gee, I wonder where she gets that from?" We all know very well that the apple did not fall very far from the tree!

I'm learning, though. I'm learning to ask for help. 

It's not easy. 

I reallllllllly don't like it. 

But I'm learning to be strong enough to be weak enough to let someone else be strengthened through my neediness. (think that was hard to read? Try to get it to type coherently! LOL!)

In all seriousness, though, read it again...

I'm learning to be strong enough to be weak enough to let someone else be strengthened through my neediness.

Who are you strengthening by letting them serve you? Who needs to know they have what is necessary to help others in this world? Who in your realm of influence needs to have someone say to them, "I honestly can't do this, and I see in you the knowledge and wisdom to get it done.  Could you help me, please?" 

Yes, yes, yes....I know. Some of you are thinking of that person who really is a master at being served. They are willing to ask for EVERYTHING! I'm not talking about that person....I'm talking about those of us who do such a good job of serving we would rather waste an hour and a half of our time and a quarter tank of gas to take care of our needs than ask someone for help. I'm talking about those of us who are really good at jumping in to help out with a need when we're able, but refuse to ask for the same help we gave when the tables are turned. 

There's a word for that. 

Pride. 

EEEK! Are you willing to humble yourself and allow someone to serve you? Wtih no expectation of you serving them back? 

I'm not totally there yet, but I'd love to know there are people willing to walk that trail with me. 

I'd like to bless others....and revel in that joy. 

I'd also like to see the faces of those blessing me light up when they realize how very much their service is appreciated. 

How are you going to start? I'd like to hear your thoughts.....

DARE TO BE....

Last night a friend and I attended a Natalie Grant concert. You may have heard of it - it's her Dare To Be tour with Pastor Charlotte Gambill (who never missed the opportunity to remind us England really is our MOTHER country so we need to listen. :) ) My friend had gotten tickets to the VIP portion so we were there before the show with Charlotte and Natalie and about 50 other women. It was an opportunity to ask questions of Charlotte and Natalie, so there were a few women who did just that. While they were asking questions I noticed one continual thread weaving its way through the women...this was not a conversation to be had, this was a "here's who I am and why I'm needing you to know me...please tell me how I can be like you" time. 

Before I continue let me say something. There is truth in the adage, "It takes one to know one." I know this is true because I have been in that place. I have been the one to stand up and say, "good evening, ladies, it is an honor to be here with you. I am a (singer, writer, worship leader, mom, wife, aspiring speaker) and so my question for you is how do I ___________ to get myself on stage and share my talents with the world?" 

NOTE: I did NOT - EVER - say it like that. It would be couched with Christian friendly phrases like, "I sense God's call to share my talents to glorify His Kingdom, but I'm wondering how to overcome....." The enemy wouldn't have us be so bold in front of humble servants of Christ with our self-centeredness, would he? NO! He wants us to come off as a humble, expectant and simply curious person. 

But I did say it. I would give my resume' before I asked a question. I would share my dream before I asked how they accomplished theirs. I would tell them all the great and wonderful things about me then say I was terrified and didn't know how to get past that fear. "Is there a secret, ladies? You're on stage, and I'm not, so obviously you know the secret and I need to know it because I want to be on stage, too."

I must give Natalie and Charlotte praise here - just as Jesus dealt fairly yet firmly with the Pharisees in His compassionate frustration, those two crazy blondes spoke with friendliness and firmness in what they had to say. With the first resume' given they simply answered the question. However, as the questions continued and it seemed like each new questioner needed to one-up the last, the answers became bolder and clearer that the real problem was not the issue asked about, but the heart. The heart of the person asking "why am I no longer getting asked to speak?" "what do I do with the fear that seems to hold me back?" "how do I do what I do better so God will notice and I will be famous like you?" (that last one was asked in a very different way, but....) was the real problem. 

If the heart lacks wisdom we need to ask GOD Who will give it generously without condemnation. (James 1:5 paraphrase mine)

Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true wisdom. All who obey His commandments will grow in wisdom. Praise Him forever! (Proverbs 3:7)

It's a heart problem when we long to be famous "so we can share our talents for the glory of the Kingdom of Heaven." 

It's a heart problem, not a fear problem, when we are afraid we won't be good enough for so-and-so, or that we won't look the way we think we should, or that we aren't funny/intelligent/as gifted as the other person so we are afraid to step out and DARE TO BE. 

It's

A

HEART

Problem

And like I said - I know this because I've been there. I've been that person asking the question but really just wanting to be able to say I told the-person-everyone's-heard-of who I am. I've been that person legitimately wanting to know how to get past my fear but not even realizing that, to those who have learned this hard lesson, I am simply a person who needs to get real with God and let go of the desire to BE something I'm not (yet). 

AAAAAAAAAnnnnnndddd....true confessions: Charlotte's words of God's truth struck down a chain in my own heart regarding the sins that so easily entangle. 

I do struggle with fear. I have lived my life within the stronghold of shame - not of what I had done, but of who I was. I have been made fun of and put down for being myself, so I've tried to fit in by being someone else. I've been there, and, although I no longer live in shame (THANK YOU, JESUS!), I still fall into the pit of comparison (which is probably why I have to write about it so much...I'm preaching to myself!). 

One gal, sitting behind me, asked the question I would have asked, but she asked it much more beautifully than I could have. "How do you deal with the insecurity and stage fright that comes from being a worship leader?" 

Natalie's answer was a balm to my soul. I'll paraphrase, but basically, she said she has learned to celebrate the fear because if she's not nervous or doesn't have a bit of stage fright then, to her, it means she's gotten to the place where "she's got this" and she isn't going to fully rely on God to show up and do what He does. If we really want God to be glorified, we need to be uncomfortable in our own skin so we don't pat ourselves on the back when things go right. 

Charlotte's answer hit me right between the eyes. Again, I'll paraphrase...there is a difference in fears that we sometimes don't realize. To be afraid of something because we want God to be the center of attention and we're afraid we're going to do something to botch it up is a godly fear. It is a fear of the Lord. However, to be afraid we're going to look wrong, be dressed wrong, mess up somehow or not 'do it right' is a fear of man and we need to confess that and deal with it. 

I fight within myself the fear of man. 

I know I'm not alone in that ring. I know there are many, many women who have those boxing gloves made of cement on their hands, too. 

So ladies, instead of trying to be better than the next gal why don't we learn to celebrate the fact that God created us to work together? Natalie Grant and Charlotte Gambill stood on either side of a woman from our local community and spoke truth - we are sisters in Christ, we will spend eternity with each other, let's celebrate and honor one another instead of pull each other down and pump ourselves up. 

is there someone you'd like to honor today? Please share it in the comments so we can all honor them, too. 

Go today, ladies, and spur one another on to outbursts of love and good deeds!!

(and I'm praying right now that if no one even responds to this that it just won't matter...Lord, I write because You're asking me to write. I surrender and ask forgiveness for my desire to be honored and lifted up for who I am instead of WHOSE I am. May You do whatever it is you want to do with this blog...and may I remain faithful to Your Word no matter the number of people reading.) 

A Change of Heart

This past weekend I had the privilege of going to a local workshop with my youngest son. This is a workshop I, myself, had gone through in November of 2014, and am praying my husband will go through, too. My oldest son will be going through the first weekend of February. I count each encounter in this workshop a blessing. A program formed and begun by the sweetest couple who realized God's work is best carried out by those who understand - at a HEART level - that He loves deeply, completely, passionately, and justly.

I have seen the changes in my friends who have gone through - a more confident spirit, a greater sense of meaning and purpose in life, and a deeper love for God and His Holy Word.

I have experienced the same transformation. I walked away KNOWING that "I am my Father's love, and I have nothing to hide!" Everything I am. Every wobble, foible, talent and gift are who He has created to be used for the glory of His Kingdom. My wobbles remind me I'm not God - I will mess up and I will fail people without intention because I am human. My foibles are there to give me a heart of compassion and understanding of grace that I will pour those out on others who are hurting or stuck in their foibles. My talents have been given to be shared. (This is an area I struggle in - not because I don't want to share them, but because I have a thorn in my side that can easily creep in and overshadow the life-giving reason for them. If you understand a bit of what I mean, I'd appreciate your prayers that God would heal that place in me.) My gifts are meant for a Kingdom purpose, and they will walk the road hand in hand with the other three parts of who I am for if my gifts are not couched in humility, compassion and confidence in Him they are clanging gongs in the Kingdom.

Back to this past weekend, though, because it's a pretty awesome tale to tell!

God brought together 16 students aged ten to thirteen and eleven of their parents. A staff of about 15 as well as volunteers in the kitchen rounded out the gathering inside the building. Around the world there were others praying for the transformation - the Heart Change - that would be taking place in the lives of children, parents, and families. Prayers were answered!!

Although I cannot go into details or name any names I want to share the highlights of the heart transformations we saw.

*A couple diligently trying to parent children from a previous marriage as well as children from their own marriage saw the healing of a relationship with son and step-mom.

*A young woman who looked in the mirror and didn't see the beauty on the outside shattered the lies that she was ugly.

*A young man who could trust God for so many others discovered God could be trusted with HIS heart and HIS life and HIS dreams, too.

*A young woman terrified of the mental disorder she lived with graciously and humbly asked for and received prayers that it would not take over her life and she could be delivered from it.

*Another young woman was angry at God because her father had died when she was very young and God didn't save him. The healing that took place as she learned the truth of what happened and the happy heart that came from this knowledge was tangible!

*A young man understood for the first time that some of the happenings in his life were *not* his fault and he no longer had to carry the burden of that guilt.

*A young woman who had tried to take her life a few months earlier was given the beautiful gift of self-worth from God alone, and the change in her spirit was overwhelming...the smile on her face spoke volumes of peace on the inside.

That's a handful of the transformations. It would seem girls outnumbered boys 2 to 1 and that the boys didn't change as much, but it's simply not true. The transformations of the boys were equal in depth and breadth. True to humanity, though, they didn't share as much about what happened deep down. I assure you, however, changes took place for the glory of the Kingdom of God in each and every one of these young people. Not one of them left with the same "face" they came in with.

In talking with other parents, staff members, and the founders of this ministry, I am convinced the workshops going on around the globe bringing the work of the Holy Spirit, the healing of the Cross, and the power of the One True Living God into the day - to - day lives of His children are going to start a revolution of repentance. Those sixteen kids from this past weekend? They are going to be world-changers. WORLD. CHANGERS! Jesus spoke of the fact that unless we have the faith of a child we will not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. ( Mark 10:15) The faith of these young people have encouraged me, inspired me, spurred me on to outbursts of love and good deeds.

Because of their faith the parents they live with and the people they interact with will be changed as well.

Now...there's always a flip side, isn't there? You know how we parents wonder if our kids *really* learned that lesson and if there's *really* a change that took place? Well, I didn't realize my mind was holding onto a similar question.  It was evidently in the far recesses of my mind as my ears perked up when  my son went out to play football in the street with the neighbor boys yesterday. I was cleaning the master bedroom and had the windows open to get rid of some of the stifling winter air, so it was virtually impossible not to hear the loud playground-worthy voices of 10 young men. Previously I would have heard bossiness and smack talk to make a point or to compliment others. I was amazed to hear the difference in the *tone* of my son's voice when he talked to his friends. When instruction was given (he was put in the QB role, lots of instruction spews forth...) it wasn't given in the tone of "do what I say" like it had in the past. Instead, it was given with a smile and compliment right after it or before it. When his decision was questioned by another boy he didn't respond in defensiveness, but he responded in humility and a desire to work together as a team. As I continued to listen for the inevitable argument that would lead to the disbanding of the football game I was pleasantly surprised to hear the tones of the other boys begin to change as well. It became a game of friends - teammates - comrades instead of a competition to prove who has the most powerful arm or the fastest legs.

I was given a glimpse of the power of one person changing how they interact with others.

I was given a glimpse of how the power of Jesus Christ in us can impact our world.

I was given a glimpse of the power we each have to make our world better or bitter 

just by Whose we are.

My son is not perfect - in fact, if anything, the realization that he doesn't have to earn love has greatly decreased his need to jump in and do for others what they are capable of doing themselves* - but he does love his Lord, and the change in him is greater than any act of service he could ever do!

*explanation - when his brother, who is not a "do-er" like our youngest is, has to clean his room he often asks little brother to help him. He's brilliant in this request, actually, because he knows HE won't have to think about what needs to be done, and he can ease off while little brother cleans his room for him. Last night he mentioned that little brother wouldn't even help him clean his room when he asked (as if this was the greatest travesty of life). Little brother quickly piped up, "but if I always do it for you, you'll never learn to do it for yourself." Aaaaaahhhh, Jesus for the WIN!

I hear the words of Matthew when he writes about the wise men and the shepherds coming to see the Child King, Jesus. Mary watched each one and pondered these things in her heart.

Transforming lives in the truth of the Word of God and the Spirit given to us for this life is one of my favorite things to see. My cup is filled to overflowing as I revel in the beautiful grace and glory of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

***********************************

I'm curious if there are workshops like this in other areas? I know there are, but do any of you know of them? The workshop I attended is called Heart Change, and in talking to Gloria, one of the founders, she mentioned this is not the only one taking place that is in the process of changing lives deeply and truly for the Kingdom. The key to finding true change is for the Bible to be foundational, not secondary, to the process. We read in Hebrews 4:12 (NASB)

For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

Without the Bible as foundation, the building (person) topples away. 

If you are looking for a program like this in your area, you could contact House Of Myrrh Ministries and ask if they know of one where you are. As one father said to me and I agree completely with, "If you had told me four years ago I was going to go through this and be who I am today, I'd have told you you were nuts. Today I would tell you I would sell everything I owned if necessary for the opportunity to go through this life change."

God IS good...does your heart really believe that?...for yourself?

Sing a Song of Christmas

I am a music teacher by trade and love all sorts of music. When I talk about music it comes from a place in me that was planted at birth and has been watered, fertilized and grown over the years by many other music lovers. Because of their hard work in me I have been able to sing in international choirs with people who know a handful of English phrases and whose language, I'm sorry to say, I knew even less of. There is a reason the phrase "Music is the international language" resonates so clearly with so many. So......today's post has a bit of a different twist because I'm choosing to focus on the music of this Christmas Season and not directly to a Bible passage. I hope I've proven my love for the Word of God, and that I encourage others to fall in love with the Author of our Souls through the sharing of that love, but sometimes I am overwhelmed in WONDER of our marvelous God when I learn the stories behind the songs of my favorite Season of the year.

Today I won't focus on a specific song, but rather on a defense and call for churches around the globe to get back to the practice of singing Christmas songs in their services during the season of Advent. I know many churches still do, but there is a general trend heading away from it "because it might offend or turn off some people seeking a place to connect." (or whatever other excuse they give...)

I need to stop for a moment and ask your forgiveness now because I can feel my heart starting to beat faster and my fingers are making silly mistakes because I can't type fast enough. I know this is a HUGE trigger issue for me. It aggravates me to no end that we water down a Christ-centered gathering so we don't offend visitors. Do we not realize that people come to a church because the world is watered down with so much stuff that they're looking for a place where the focus is clear and not apologized for? So, if this seems a bit too passionate, please look past the person to the heart.

Why do Apple users cling together so much in solidarity over a brand? Because it's clear and focused on one thing - Apple. It's not Android vs. Windows vs. Chrome vs. whatever (I'm not a name person, so please go with the idea of what I'm saying and not the specifics. Thank you.)

In-n-Out is famous all over and yet they only have restaurants on the West Side of our country. Why? Because they are focused and clear. You're not going to have to look at the menu and figure out if you want a hot dog, a gyro, a bowl of chili, a salad or a hamburger. You need to figure out what you want on your hamburger and how you want your fries (well done are best!).

So WHY can't the church get this message?????? Stop the marketing! Stop the madness of trying to remain focused by NOT singing Christmas music because Christmas music can be heard in every store, gas station, elevator and radio station outside the church!

THAT'S THE COOL PART ABOUT CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!

NO Other time of the year does the world conform to what's going on in the church! At Christmas-time they do!!! Pentatonix released a new song this year - have you heard it? It's a beautiful rendition of "Mary, Did you Know?" WHAT???? A secular group singing a song asking the woman chosen to be the mother of our Lord, JESUS CHRIST, if she KNEW He was going to wha? SAVE. THE. WORLD!!!

In a world where people are seeking peace -
In a world where people are seeking grace -
In a world where people are seeking answers -
In a world where people are seeking what they cannot explain -
CHRISTMAS MUSIC IS TELLING THEM WHERE TO FIND IT!!!

So, why aren't we singing these songs?

(caveat: in no way, shape or form am I condemning the singing of year-round worship songs in our services during Advent. I am, instead, saying Christmas songs ARE songs of worship, but they're not songs we would sing during, I don't know, April, so we need to sing them when we can!)

I've discovered over the years that we are losing out on the twice a year attender. No longer do families deem it necessary to attend a Christmas-Eve service or an Easter service. I've asked myself why and I've asked friends who are those people why....Christmas and Easter in the church meant CELEBRATING the very reason for those holidays.

In one church I attended we actually were given plastic eggs full of confetti to throw in the air at the end of the Easter service in celebration of the FACT that we serve a RISEN Savior. That was 16 years ago, and it still moves my soul every time I think of it. WHY, Christian, can't our faith be exciting and celebratory like that??? WHY can't our Christmas services throughout Advent take the opportunity to sing the songs everyone else is hearing everywhere else but the church service they decided to attend because that song by (insert secular artist who would never sing about Jesus but wants to release a "holiday" album to make guaranteed money here) reminded them that Christmas stirs something in them only found in a Christian Church?

If you're a church that doesn't sing Christmas songs, can you tell me why? I really believe you're missing out on a tremendous opportunity because if someone hears a song triggering the hole in them where Jesus knocks and they attend your service, but don't know any of the songs because you're singing mainstream worship songs they've never heard of, they won't be back.

I have friends who grew up in the church but no longer attend. During THIS SEASON of focusing on a baby sent to earth to save our world, they long for those days when their childlike wonder was fed by the lights, the decorations, the Advent candles, and the *songs* they sang with others who may not even (yet) know that Baby King. Is your church giving them the place to find that wonder? Are YOU celebrating the very fact that this baby came to earth from a place where houses are made of diamonds and streets are paved with gold? HE GAVE THAT UP and we're singing beautiful songs of worship, but missing out on the opportunity to bring JOY to the World on a Silent Night that Came Upon a Midnight Clear.

Jesus is the Reason for the Season, we've all said, read, or heard - so why don't we, the Church, boldly announce that WE have the ANSWER a weary soul is seeking....in the songs they already know? We can't make them comfortable by watering down the Gospel, but we can certainly make them comfortable by allowing them to nestle into the stable with the shepherds, the wise men, the sheep, cattle, barn mice and lowing cows as we gather around and sing about this O. HOLY. Night. when a  baby was born Away in a Manger.

Merry Christmas, reader! Enjoy this video of the Pentatonix song I mentioned above, "Mary Did You Know?"

If you'd like to listen to how Christmas music can be sung around the world, you can listen to my YouTube playlist I put together real quick right HERE. It's a compilation of secular artists, Christian artists, choirs, and people I've never heard of singing the songs we're familiar with (and some we're not) all around the world.